It seems that as soon as your belly starts showing people shower you with advice, some wanted and some not wanted. As first time parents it can be overwhelming and confusing since everyone has a different opinions on different things. Parenting is not an exact science. There isn’t a perfect way of doing things and what might work for one kid might not work for the other. Parenting is an ongoing ever evolving process which is why I personally don’t give advice to first time parents.
I have thought about what I would have love to hear when I was pregnant and came out with this list. Here’s my advice for first time parents:
- Don’t listen to anyone’s advice, everyone has an opinion and you will find your way.
- Listen to your instincts, not a book or advice. It’s your baby.
- Read read read. You will learn different ways to approach the same issue and one of those ways will resonate with your beliefs.
- Believe in yourself.
- Do what feels right.
Of course now that I’ve had 2 kids I’d love to give way more advice than this but first time parents need reassurance and not a list of what to do. Also, you don’t know how this person will parent. I didn’t know much about attachment and gentle parenting when I had my baby, I was just instinctively doing things and later came to find out they are part of these parenting philosophies so every time someone recommended stuff like crying-it-out I would cringe and get upset. These people didn’t know what parenting philosophies I was following and this is exactly why they should have kept all the advice to themselves.
I think a lot of what I learned was because I listened to my baby’s needs and my instincts. From there I read and learned more but I did was felt right for my baby. Most parents, if allowed, will do this. They will find their way and if they want advice they will ask for it. So please, don’t offer advice, just offer support and maybe a meal or two.
Did you get any good advice when you were expecting? Share it in the comments.
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