I am a stay-at home mom with a part time job I do from home. I consider myself primarily a stay-at-home since my entire day is devoted to my girls and my job is what I do on the side.
I love staying at home with them because I get to see my daughters grow day-by-day and I’m always the first person that sees when they make a new gesture or discover something new. I am grateful that I have a job that I can do mostly at home because I just could not be without my girls all the time.
But being a stay-at-home mom means I have to do stuff around the house, like cook, clean and do the laundry. It also means I’m the person in charge of making sure our daughters are entertained, fed and taken care of – all day.
I’m always in a dilemma. I would like to be with my girls all day long and not do anything else but the reality is that I can’t – my job helps to pay some bills and we can’t just afford to be without it. Plus we can’t live in an eternal messy house, although it sure does feel like it some days.
I already go to bed late every night so staying up even longer is not an option. I also can’t do much of the house work and cooking when they’re asleep because that’s when I work. My “alone time” at night it’s short, about 2-3 hours if I get lucky and it’s just not enough time to do it all.
This means most of the things I have to get done, I do them during the day – when they’re awake. This also means I’ve learned how to prioritize and take care of what’s important / urgent that week.
Sometimes I feel that even though we’re together all day,we don’t spend one-on-one quality time as much as I’d like to. Other times I feel like I’m being stretched thin juggling the home life and work, along with having two kids. I often wonder if I’m giving each one that mommy time they need and deserve.
I feel guilty when I do other things or when I’m on my phone doing social media stuff for this blog. Sometimes it feels like we’re busy all day and I don’t have a chance to be really be together and connect.
That’s just not right…
I didn’t have kids just to rush through life with them. I had them to nurture them and to raise happy, healthy kids that will one day accomplish their dreams in life and have loving families.
Having a connection with your child is so important.
Having a connection with your child means you don’t let yourself get sucked into other things that aren’t as important as your relationship with your kids. I know this is easier said than done, especially when your life gets really busy.
But it’s during those times when life gets crazy busy that we have to make a stop and reevaluate what we’re doing. It’s a time to prioritize and realize what really matters to you and it’s a time when we need to connect the most with our kids because they are probably missing us.
I made a promise to myself, a promise that I want to encourage you to make with yourself. This promise is that every morning and every afternoon my kids and I have 15 minutes of one-on-one time.
Most days we end up having more than 15 minutes but on those days that things are crazy I have a reason and a reminder to make a pause during the day and just be with them.
Being connected to your child is the key to a healthy relationship and it really helps during those rough moments, like when they’re having a tantrum or during those though teenage year.
This connection doesn’t happen over night or over a week, it happens with a little bit every day.
Being connected to your child happens when you give them one-on-one time. It can be along with their siblings but you have to focus on them. They should feel important, heard and that you’re really there.
One-on-one time means you don’t do anything else, just give them 100% of your undivided attention. It’s a time where the TV is off, the phone is put away and there’s nothing around you that can distract you from this time with your kids.
You can spend this time playing together, reading a book, talking to each other, snuggling under the covers, anything, as long as it’s you with your kids. You have to make your best effort to really be there and not thinking about what else you have to get done.
It’s about being 100% in the moment, with them.
It’s about kids knowing that no matter how crazy our lives get they are always our priority. After all, when I think about all that’s going on in my life, nothing is as important as they are.
So, will you join me on this challenge? Let’s make sure we’re setting aside 15 minutes twice a day for our kids. Are you in?
Pin this image to remind you spend dedicated time with your kids:
Mama Thyme says
This post is amazing. Someone once said it’s not the quantity that matters, it’s the quality. I remind myself of something similar when I’m trying to rush and M wants to be held or read a book. Thank you so much for sharing this.
Carolina says
Thanks Mary! 🙂 it’s so easy to get caught up on daily tasks but it’s important to always give quality time to our kiddos. I agree that quality matters! 🙂
savannahkase says
This post really struck a chord with me, too, Carolina. It is good to know that even full-time moms feel pulled in many directions. In some ways, it may be easier to devote focused, quality time to your child when you only see him or her for a few hours a day. I think your 15 minutes twice a day pledge is great! Still, don’t underestimate how much your baby enjoys, appreciates, and learns from you even when you are multi-tasking. 🙂
Carolina says
Thanks Savannah! I think no matter what mommies always feel like they could do better.