…is what my husband said.
On my journey as a mom I have read a lot about parenting, I talked to many parents and professionals about the different aspects and schools of parenting, some I agree with and some I do not. However, who am to say what’s right and what’s wrong?
Every parent does what it’s best for their baby with the knowledge they have available at that time. Every parent also makes mistakes and, hopefully, learns and grows from them.
I did not know the type of a parent I would be when I was pregnant. Yes, I had an idea but once I had my baby my instincts kicked in and I became the parent I am today. I say today because I’m constantly reading and learning and I know I will change as a gain more knowledge.
One thing I don’t understand is why people try to give you unwanted parenting advice when you have not asked for it. “Let your baby cry or you will spoil her.” “Do this, do that.” Just because someone thinks their way is the best, it does’t mean it’s the best way for me, for my baby, for my family.
I think as parents we need to learn to respect other parenting styles, other parents. You don’t have to agree. You just have to respect.
I believe sharing information is good, but not forcing it to the parent. You can disagree and still be adults about it. You don’t need to bash the other person, give negative remarks, try to convince them to do otherwise or feel sorry for them.
I am lucky I have not had too many people confronting my parenting style, some have but most have not, either because they don’t know the details of it or because they don’t care. However I know people that are constantly being pressured by family and friends to do things a certain way.
It is important to remember: they are YOUR children and YOU raise them the way YOU feel it’s best.
If you don’t think you should let your baby cry it out, even though your mom says you should because that’s what she did and you’re fine, then stand your ground and say no. If you don’t like confrontation, just say yes, walk away and do what your heart is telling you to do.
If you want to breastfeed until your baby weans and society is pressuring not to, become informed, learn about the benefits. Information is power, power that you need to feel confident about your decision. Do you have to share it with the world? No, you just have to feel secure about it.
Should you feed purees, do baby led weaning, try baby sign language, co-sleep, do this or do that…Only you know!
What has helped me the most is research about every parenting decision I have made so far. It has helped me to stand my ground and to truly know that what I’m doing is the best for my daughter…and that’s all that matter. Also, by researching I’ve found communities of like minded parents, who I can share my thoughts with and who share even more knowledge with me. This has been powerful because I know I’m not alone and I learn even more.
So if you’re being bombarded by your parenting style, inform yourself, not for the others, but for you. And if you criticize the parenting style of others, in person or online, just don’t. A good rule is if you have nothing positive to say, don’t say it! We are all trying to do our best.
Don’t forget, we’re all just trying to “make the best eggs”!
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